Begin

How will I get back?
If I should dare begin
a descent
into the darkness of memory;
who will be there
to pull me back?
If I become lost
as I have been lost before?
I am scared to feel this;
I want to be brave,
brave enough to share
a journey that began gently, silently.
The memory really, really hurts.
My tears flood the page,
bile burns the back of my throat.
I feel my head throb.
My arms, heavy weights.
Too heavy to lift my pencil.

"I walked fast and faster.
I ran and ran.
I ran very far, very fast.
If only I could run fast enough
I could run past myself;
turn around,
and meet myself running up the road;
and in that moment,
I could make everything right again.
Then I realized...there was no before..."

Evangeline.